[...] always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ.
- Ephesians 5:20
We were asked what it meant to always give thanks and some replied that giving thanks in the hard times may be close to impossible, but looking back on those times you could see the blessings. Personally I now understand that you CAN give thanks even during those hard times. PPD has been the toughest trial I have faced and I can not believe it, but I have felt more blessed by God during it then any other time.
Since my last post I have faced some pretty tough weeks. When I think I am getting better I feel as though I am hit with something new. I am continuously understanding that this illness is something that you can't just get over in a few months. It is going to take time...
I was having trouble falling asleep tonight and had to write... below is what came out. It amazes me after reading it the thankfulness that I feel even at my lowest points.
Walking on this path
 |
| A blessed moment |
It stretches out in front of me
Will it ever end?
At times it's hard to breath
At times it's hard to see
At times it's hard to remember who I was
Will I find her again?
A shell of my former self
I trudge on ahead
For I can not stop
I am needed, I am wanted, I am loved
Lord, at times it is hard to understand why
But then I see the blessings amidst the clouds
And I know this is the storm I must face
This storm that will not last forever
The world is full of sorrow
But also full of joy
I am thankful for the moments of peace and clarity
I am thankful to not walk this path alone
For You, oh God, I praise in my darkest hours
You have already shown me so much through my journey
And though I fear sometimes that I can not endure another moment of this illness
I will continue to look to You
This shall pass!
I will find myself again!
My confidence in myself will once again be restored
For You, oh God, can make all things possible!
1 comment:
Amen.
Post a Comment