Wednesday, November 30, 2011

A Dollar

I spent a dollar on a snickers bar today.
 
Did I mentioned Dhrumil and I are doing a weight loss challenge? Whoever gets closest to their goal by our trip in March will get to choose the excursion we do in Jamaica. My personal goal has been to cut out most sugar.
 
I spent a dollar on a snickers bar today.
 
Forgot to mention it was 10:30 am and I was sitting at my computer daydreaming about caramel, nuts and chocolate. I was in the middle of a full out war in my head… don’t do it, just do it, don’t do it!
 
I spent a dollar on a snickers bar today.
 
Guess I should mention that I googled what one dollar can do… Do you know it could help alleviate poverty? I could have also doubled it every day to become a millionaire in 20 years.
 
I spent a dollar on a snickers bar today.
 
Snickers bar in hand I returned to my seat, only to notice the BRIGHT GREEN nutrition facts staring at me. Why do they have to be so noticeable? I broke off one small piece, hoping to dull the blaring fact that what I was about to put into my mouth was pure evil.
 
I spent a dollar on a snickers bar today.
 
That bite was good. I slipped the snickers bar into my desk drawer for later enjoyment. After a moment’s pause I took it right back out and threw it in the trash where it landed with a comforting BANG. I started to feel sick from the insane sugar that was now coursing through my veins.
 
I wasted a dollar on a snickers bar today. 

Next time I'll get Peanut M&Ms.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Personal Archives

Today I was reading through my old blog and some of my old posts on this blog and noticed a trend. It seems that through difficult times in my life I tend not to write for a while. I see this trend happening now due to the mixture of my busy schedule and the death of my grandpa. I guess that is why I haven't written about his death until now...

I haven't had a chance to just stop and take in the fact that my grandfather is no longer on this earth. In this moment, I am coming to the realization that I will not see him again until I am in heaven. Of course the knowledge of heaven and seeing him again and knowing he is happy and rejoicing gives me great joy, but there is still the dull painful ache that I have never experienced to this extent before. The world has lost a truly wonderful man and he will be remembered!

Grandpa would have been 90 this February and I have had some nod and say "ah" when mentioning this fact. I know I have done this to many who have had their grandparents die and now I wish I hadn't. The fact is... it doesn't matter what the age is... they were still very much a part of your life and the shock of death is still very real. 

I had some time to clean out my closet today and I came across a box of old letters and cards that date back to high school.  Now that I am in the profession of information management my mind immediately went to... are these records? Do these documents have purpose to my life and therefore need to be kept for an amount of time or can they be "deleted"? After shutting off my  business mind I noticed letter upon letter of encouragement from dear friends and family and also many from my grandparents. In that moment I was so thankful to have kept these personal "archives." I am so thankful God gave my grandma the gift of writing many many letters! Currently her mind is being taken over by dementia and I think it makes the death of my grandpa that much harder. I will cling to these letters as a piece of her and my grandpa to keep for years to come.

Grandpa,
Your love for God was infectious. I always knew you were praying for me. You always came to all of my orchestra concerts, ballet recitals, plays... you name it, you and grandma were there. You supported me, you loved me. Thank you.

I think I was 3 when this picture was taken of us

So thankful Mikayla met grandpa!

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Vegetables

Vegetables. Not sure what it is about them that has most kids running for cover.

Growing up I never had that big of an issue with vegetables and wasn't bribed into eating them. I enjoyed corn and carrots. Brussel sprouts were served regularly along with broccoli and green beans.

I love vegetables… my husband is a vegetarian… my child will love them too.

I remember scoffing while watching a spot on a TV morning show about a woman who wrote a cookbook for moms. The recipes hid the vegetables so children would eat them… “HA” I said to myself “it is all in the way you raise your child, mine will NEVER need something like that.”

Cue the Chef Boyardie commercial where the mother destroys a whole can display to keep the word vegetables from being heard by her child. “Who would do such a thing?” I thought to myself… I was more distinguished than those who ate hidden veggie Chef Boyardie. My children would eat vegetable casseroles, enjoy things like kale and leeks and not even blink while downing carrot ginger soup garnished with arugula.

Then I had my own child.

The organic pureed vegetables were first. Though she made faces at the beginning, Mikayla grew to enjoy them, especially sweet potatoes and peas. Being a working mom it was easier to give her the jars and not puree my own, but eventually I started to give her fresh veggies. This should have been the first sign… she was not a fan.

Then she became a toddler…

For some reason Mikayla does not like to try to new foods. Thinking back on her short life I cannot remember a moment where this behavior manifested itself. Perhaps with her birthday cupcake? Now with the wonderful “no” and the ability to throw her food, Mikayla has made it known that the only vegetable of choice is “PEA.” Ironically Peas are somewhat of a triumph for me since I left them on her plate for a week until she ate them. I have tried this strategy again, but with sad results.

So where am I now? Well Mikayla has an amazing appetite, but it consists of peas, fish sticks, chicken, brown rice, yogurt, applesauce and fruit.

Then there was yesterday… where Mikayla met steamed broccoli in a dance I call… the “mmmmmm” dance.

She eyed the broccoli as something mommy was making for her to play with. “MIMI” she called… did I dare? Fine, might as well. I brought the small tree of broccoli over and held my breath… one bite, just try ONE bite. “MMM” I said… she tasted a piece “mmm” she replied with a coy smile. No this couldn’t be true. “MORE” I gasped… and quietly, with a smile pasted on my face and the thought that THIS might be the vegetable of salvation… “MMM” I said… she ATE IT “mmm” she replied again. Feeling the joy of victory flood my body and spontaneously taking a moment to do the "I am an amazing mother" dance I glanced back at Mikayla in time to see her spit out the tree and made a noise close to “ickyyuckblah!”

Guess I need to find one of those cookbooks.

Monday, September 19, 2011

18 Months

Dhrumil and I just looked at each other a few days ago and said... "ahh we have a child" I guess even 18 months after the fact we are still in awe that this little person came from us and that we are responsible for her!

Before time fast forwards I wanted to document what Mikayla has been up to lately. It is crazy how much you forget in such a short amount of time. I have a friend with a newborn and when she tells me some of the sweet things she does I’m like… “wait I think Mikayla did that!?”

Mikayla has been changing so much lately that it is a blur when she really started doing certain things. I guess it doesn’t really matter having the exact moment written down. What matters most is that I have experienced those bursts of growth with Mikayla and it has added to my life’s story. All of those little moments have created who Mikayla is now at this very second.

In my mind Mikayla is now official a toddler. She runs like a toddler, she laughs like a toddler and she SCREAMS like a toddler. It is especially fun to have her throw a tantrum in a store, in front of a GIANT line of people waiting to buy baseball tickets and also in a restaurant. We are learning in those times though and for the most part, taking it all in stride.

We have recently been seeing small glimpses


Here are some of the latest...

Loves:
Reading books
Eating yogurt
Running
Saying “no”
Night Night (her bunny she sleeps with)
Ducks (yes still!)
Giving kisses
Laughing
Going on walks
Swimming class
Dancing (especially when I ask her to plie)
Eating
Looking at pictures of the family
Pointing to things and saying the name


Drawing with chalk
Buckling anything with a buckle
Sitting in her crib for a long time and reading or playing

Newest words:
She comes up with new words everyday… words I didn’t know she knew and also words I do not hear again for weeks. She is brilliant at communicating and for the most part I know what she wants.
One, two, three
Ook (book)
Ish (kiss)
Bye (finally after months of Hi)
Yesh (not as frequent as No, but it is starting to be used correctly)
GeeGee (my mom)
Inton (Uncle Clinton)
Bathsss
Up
Out
Alk (walk)
Trees

Giving a kiss to friend Brady

Telling daddy what she wants him to do while playing

Kissing night night

Enjoying a stroll in daddy's shoes

She loves to sit in her crib with a bunch of stuff

Friday, August 26, 2011

Adventures of House Hunting

Prospects of becoming a house owner are exciting, scary and exhausting all wrapped up into one lovely package. I was excited when Dhrumil and I came to the agreement to start house hunting, but it was hard to quiet the positives and negatives of this endeavor which were in a constant shouting match in my head… Stability! Goodbye money! Ownership! Responsibility! No close neighbors! No neighbors! Easy! Hard! Staying! Packing! GOODBYE MONEY
 
One would say this is a buyers’ market… and it is. BUT living in one of the most expensive counties in America always tends to put a damper on things. An 1100 square foot house is the same price, if more expensive, than a BRAND NEW 2400 square foot house in Indiana. Sigh. Thus our search began on the thought that oh wow that house is only 450K how can that be!?
 
We decided to start this process with Mikayla in tow. Our realtor thought it would be great for her to be part of the experience and though apprehensive we agreed. The first house we viewed on a day of 5 houses Mikayla yelled “NO” the first step we took into the house. I couldn’t have agreed more. Though Mikayla was an angel during the house hunting, the rest of that day had a mixture of no living space, no closet space, smelly basements and no bathtubs. Needless to say by the end we were feeling deflated and defeated. Unless we were millionaires living in our county might not happen.
 
Instead of throwing away the towel we decided to get back out there and see more houses. Sunday morning we were all dressed and ready for church as we embarked on yet another day to view potential dwelling places. A block from our first house Dhrumil pointed out a little Chihuahua mix walking down the sidewalk alone. **DISCLAIMER – Dhrumil has radar for stray dogs, he sees them from a mile away and has delivered many a pooch home to their owners. I have encouraged him on numerous occasions to open DADDY D’s K9 rescue, but he has decided to stay in Finance**  Maybe this dog should have been a clue or omen to what would come. I sprang out of the car and pounced on the little dog, as though rehearsed I called out the phone number from his collar and Dhrumil called the owner. Already late for our first house no one answered the call and Dhrumil told me to bring the dog in the car. He seemed friendly enough… so in the car he came. Thankfully I spotted the street that was on his collar and I again sprang out of the car and delivered him to his owners.
 
To continue… we finally made it to the house and liked what we saw. I then happened to notice many pictures hanging that had Dhrumil’s good college friend in them. WAIT!? Ended up being his friend’s parents’ house. Such a small world. Though we thought that house was the best we’ve seen so far, we just didn’t think it was the one. So on to the next.
 
The next was a flip and though the inside was very nice, we didn’t like the street and while discussing this with the realtor we both happened to turn our backs for a SECOND. I’m sure many of you know what turning a back for a SECOND can do when a toddler is loose. Wasn’t it a toddler who started the economic crisis because her dad’s back was turned while she did a little buying and selling of stocks?
 
Anyways I hear an “OH NO” and look to see my sweet angel in her white Sunday dress have her hands covered in gravel tar. You know that black stuff that they put on streets? I ran to get wipes, that didn’t work. We ran into the house and while Dhrumil held Mikayla the realtor and I both scrubbed her hands all the while Mikayla was screaming and yelling MIMI MIMI! That is what she calls herself… maybe she was saying mimi was dirty? Yup so that didn’t work either. We decided to run to the nearest Home Depot and while Dhrumil was saying his apologies to the realtor I ran into the house to try to clean off the tar hand print on the white door. Yup that didn’t work. Once we arrived at Home Depot we realized neither of us had our wallets so we had to drive 30 minutes back to our house, all the while I was in the back seat ensuring Mikayla’s hands did not come into contact with her face, her mouth or my dress.
 
On our drive back I had a light bulb go off… they clean those oil covered pelicans in the commercials with Dawn...maybe it would work on a toddler? Though I didn’t have Dawn, I grabbed the kitchen soap and while Mikayla played with her toys in the bath I scrubbed… and after 15 minutes we had a clean Mikayla.
 
Has this episode deterred us? Of course not. What has it taught us? Kitchen liquid soap is a powerful ally in the fight against dirty toddler.
 
Stay tuned to more adventures of house hunting!


 
 
 
 

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Ducky!

To say that Mikayla loves birds would be an understatement 
And I’m afraid I don’t know which bird she likes the most since she calls them all “DUCKY”!!!!
 
First close bird encounter at 5 months old
The first bird Mikayla was introduced to was a rubber duck in her bath. This was the first toy that she smiled at and the first animal name she said.  Her first birthday party was duck themed as this was the logical choice to the one true love she had at the moment. We thought this would fade, but here we are 5 months later and duckies are still all the rage!
 
Ducky has expanded from the bathtub to all the birds on the earth. While on a walk Mikayla yells DUCKY and points to a bird that is flying by. While driving Mikayla yells ducky and I can only conclude that she must have seen a bird out of window. Watching the geese swim in the pond … ducky! While tweeting like a bird (yes I do this)… ducky! Looking at the parrots in the pet store… ducky.
 
Ducky from tante tina
She has books with ducks, she loves songs about ducks. She loves to watch UP with the bird Kevin who she calls ducky. I now hear ducky multiple times in a day and am never quite sure which one she is referring to.
 
And now… a new duck has joined in the form of a flying rat… the famous NYC pigeons. Mikayla had the time of her life this past weekend chasing pigeons around a park at the base of the Brooklyn Bridge.
 
I wonder if she would pet one if she could?
This little girl shows no fear in the face of Duckies!
 
Now my only hope is that she will outgrow this phase before I hear the words “mommy I want a ducky for Christmas”
Her best bath friends
Her Easter friend
Taking her duck on a walk

Her new found DUCKY friends

She was determined to catch them

Where did all of my friends go?
 
 

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

A Glimpse

Sunday was a tough day. Mikayla woke up screaming at 5am and the rest of the day was filled with a little girl who was in pain from all of her teeth coming in. Needless to say she was not the happiest and Dhrumil and I tried to make the most of the day and just go with it.
 
By the time Mikayla woke up screaming from her short nap that afternoon the day felt never ending. I suggested we go to Waveny (a big beautiful park in our town) and without hesitation Dhrumil loaded the baby and wagon into the car while I grabbed the dog and a picnic blanket.
 
It was at Waveny where we saw Mikayla’s first smiles of the day while Dhrumil pulled her in the wagon across the great expanse of green grass. I had to find the perfect tree to lay under and Willoughby was in his glory running back and forth between all of us.
 
Lazily laying on a blanket reading a book was something I used to do all the time before I was a mother… times have changed. I was ready to take back one of the greatest pleasures, but as I stared up at the tree above I couldn’t help but turn to the sounds of giggling. A sweet high belly laugh came out of Mikayla who had just fallen in the soft grass followed by Dhrumil’s laughter which never fails to make me smile. I pushed my book aside and watched as Mikayla attempted to run around the field chasing the dog as Dhrumil chased both of them. It was then that I gasped… this was my family. MINE! They are beautiful and they are part of me and I of them. All of the exhaustion of the day lifted in that moment and I felt truly blessed and in awe of the gift I was entrusted with.
 
This short poem came from the feelings of that moment:
 
A day of crying a day of pain
A day where it all seems the same
 
But then a moment which stops all time
A stillness wanders into my mind
 
A beautiful image appears to me
And I know that for all of eternity
 
I have been blessed beyond all measure
This gift from God regards all splendor
 
My life has somehow become complete
And purpose finally will I meet
 
This blessing so pure and divine
Can only come from one so fine
 
I thank the Lord for all He’s done
A glimpse of Heaven as bright as the sun


Thursday, June 23, 2011

Life is Fleeting

Four generations
I have heard this term in books. Today I looked up fleeting to see what it really means… “Passing or fading quickly” and in the Thesaurus… “brief, momentary, transitory and evanescent.” These definitions bring tears to my eyes and a picture in my mind.
 
Last week Mikayla and I flew to visit my parents in Indiana one last time before they move to NYC (More on that trip to come) While there it was very important for me to go and visit my Yoder Grandparents in Ohio. They have been having a difficult time lately… afflicted by things that come with age. My Grandpa can hardly see and is in a wheelchair because he fell. My grandma succumbing to dementia, though she can still remember us. They have both been moved to separate rooms on the assisted living wing of the wonderful home they are living in. More like a “college for the old” than a facility for the weary.
 
When I went into my Grandma’s room I was shocked by how frail and little she looked… same with my grandpa. Grandma was slightly confused, but was excited to see me. When they saw Mikayla joy lit their faces and I was hit with the thought of this new life was giving large smiles to the old life passing through. While sitting in the lobby, watching Mikayla play and toddle back and forth between my parents and grandparents, I had a new appreciation for life and the moments that are meant to be cherished.
 
Grandma talking to Mikayla about her shoes
We happened to be in the lobby during the June birthday celebration. A man on an accordion and one on the drums played and sang to their hearts content. I enjoyed looking around and watching the elders sing along. Mikayla was in her glory… dancing with my mom, walking from one end to the other, being the center of attention. Amidst the joy and naivety of a  child who has yet been blemished my life’s hardships it wasn’t hard to miss the looks on those around me. My parents showed love of their grandchild, but also exhaustion and a bit of sadness that is brought by the stresses of having older parents. My Grandpa showed concern through his eyes for the love of his life whose mind is leaving it’s body. And my Grandma? She sat quietly, a peaceful but faraway look in her eyes. I wondered where she was… perhaps thoughts of her younger days had come upon her and she had been transported to a place where she was witty, young and beautiful again.
 
Saying goodbye was the hardest. After helping my Grandma into her chair and covering her with a blanket I bent to hug her and whisper to her what I know I wanted her to hear while she still remembered who I was… “You have been and are the best Grandma, thank you.” As tears filled both of our eyes we clung to each other and as I looked deeply into her cloudy blue eyes  I remembered a time not too long ago where her eyes were clear and she was teaching me to cook and sew.
 
As I left their room, my dad’s comforting arm around my shoulders, immense sadness filling my heart, I knew one thing for sure. Life is fleeting. My grandparents, like the rest of us, are just passing through. This life is but a brief stop on the way to all of the Glory and Splendor waiting for us in Heaven. That thought gave me comfort. 
Special family

Giving five to Grandpa


 

An Off Day

Do you ever have a day that is just a bit off? A day where there seems to be something you are probably forgetting but you push it off as something you dreamt and not something you were supposed to remember? Yesterday was that day for not only myself, but also Dhrumil. We were already reeling from getting back into the daily grind after vacation and were preoccupied with trying to catch up.
 
That morning I had forgotten to pack Mikayla’s lunch and in my rush I threw items into a bag and forgot the spoon… ok not so bad. Work went as usual, Dhrumil dropped Mikayla off as usual and all was right in the world.
 
Then the phone call came.
 
To preface the phone call… I was planning on leaving work 20 minutes early to pick up Mikayla since Dhrumil had a meeting.
 
Ok back to the phone call.
 
It was Dhrumil with a bit of panic in his voice… “how are you going to pick up Mikayla?” What a silly question! Um drive and get her… higher pitched this time “you don’t have the car seat and my big meeting is in 10 minutes” BLANK “hello?” BLANK “what should we do?” BLANK. HOW in the world did both of us forget about the car seat? My mind went over the possibilities… I could walk home… that would take me a few hours. I could sit at the church and wait until Dhrumil was done with his meeting… Mikayla would have a meltdown from exhaustion. BLANK. Wish we could fly home.
 
“What should we do!?” Dhrumil’s voice calm, but persistent. Sigh. It was raining out… the traffic was going to be bad… I was, shall we say, not thrilled? Maybe we could also say I was… frustrated since we were having Mikayla stay in day care an extra hour so I woudn’t have to leave work EARLY AND OH MY GOSH SHE IS IN DAYCARE JUST SO I CAN DRIVE AROUND FOR AN HOUR AND I STILL HAVE TO LEAVE WORK EARLY! Ok guess I was past the point of no return. Well one thing was for sure, I didn’t want Dhrumil to leave his important meeting. So I drove.
 
Slow cars… why do cars always drive slow when I am trying to GO PLACES!? Three highways later, 25 minutes later, a burst of tears when I saw Dhrumil later, I was in the car with the car seat heading back down to pick up Mikayla. I got there right at 1pm, she smiled, laughed, said “Momeeeee” in her sweet sweet way and all was right in the world.
 
Total time spent in the car? One hour and a half
 
I can laugh it off now… and hopefully next time something happens like this I can laugh it off in the moment and just breath because a giggly, smiley little girl will be there at the end with a wet kiss.
 
 
 
 
 

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

The Pool and the Little Girl

Memorial day was a long day of outside fun for Mikayla Rose. So much fun that by the time our cook out started she was done for the day. After eating with Mikayla yelling, ok screaming, through most of it I decided it wouldn't hurt to let her wade around in the pool. I turned my eyes for a SECOND and the next thing I know Mikayla is sitting in the pool with her pretty dress floating up like a balloon.  At this point all I could do was laugh and yell to my friend to start taking pictures. Mikayla's dress was so soaked that I decided the best course of action was to remove it. After allowing her to take one more walk around the pool it was into daddy's arms and off to bed almost an hour early. And boy did she sleep solidly that night!
Um this feels weird with my dress


This needs to come off

                                  
I liked my dress in the water!!!

Ok I guess this is ok

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Loves of the Week

These past few days Mikayla must be on a break from teething because she has been in the happiest of moods. :) Or, as my mom likes to remind me, she is a person and has moods just like us. Whatever it is... having a happy girl makes for a happy mommy which makes for a happy daddy and then equals a happy family! Of course we still love an unhappy little girl, but life is easier when she is really loving life.

It is hard to believe Mikayla is 14 months old and I am continuously reminded of how fast time really does fly. Some days I feel like I have a little girlfriend to hang out with, someone who you can sit with at the mall food court sharing Chinese noodles and not feel weird, cause you are really not alone! Other days I feel like I have the grumpiest toddler who likes to scream in public and when overtired continuously yells "BUBBLES" and when they don't magically appear within seconds, melts into a pool of tears.

Weeks like these... when everything Mikayla does is absolutely adorable, when I have an unending sense of energy, when she keeps me laughing all day from something she does or says, when she leans over to hug me while pushing her in the grocery cart, when she toddles over to me with a proud grin and yells "MUMEEE" or when she shares my ice cream so I don't feel like I'm eating it all alone... it helps me continue on in this thing called parenthood and gives me the confidence I need to face another week. It helps me know I can do this and maybe I am doing a few things right after all.

A few of Mikayla's loves of the week. And believe me... they change or evolve EVERY week! :) One I left out is BUBBLES. This is Mikayla's favorite word right now and she loves watching me blow bubbles. She woke up the other morning and as if she remembered her world of bubbles yelled it with a big smile on her face... to which I laughed... to which she acted offended as if I should also understand the sun rises and sets for bubbles.

Rides in the wagon with her friends

Throwing her friends out of the wagon

And the cow is gone

Nemo Fish or "ishhhhh"

Enamored with her bathing suit

Doing her hair (do you see the black hair tie)

Putting bows in her hair

Sitting with friends (they had to be in that order!)

Reading to friends

Her FAVORITE book we read at least 4 times a day

Reading in her new lawn chair

She LOVES this chair

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Being a mom

Mikayla's Bad Day
Today is one of those days where I ask myself... am I really cut out for this? To which myself replies... well you have been thrown into the pool so you better swim because drowning is NOT an option.

To what am I referring to in this conversation with myself you ask?

Being a mother.

Today I felt having a newborn was easier, that even though I was clueless at the beginning I somehow figured it out, but today? This moment? I have NO clue what to do. Hard feeling to deal with... the overwhelming sense of not knowing what to do and the thought of “am I doing this right” looming over you like a big huge thunder cloud ready to burst.

And burst it did.

Mikayla being sick so much has really taken a toll on all of us. First my poor baby is so uncomfortable and in pain and I hate that. On top of that throw in 3 months of almost non stop sickness, me catching almost everything Mikayla has had, exhaustion and stress of missing work because we have no back up for daycare. It finally all caught up with me in the latest sickness of double ear infection combined with Mikayla’s new found independence in pointing to things.

Today being my day off I thought I would take Mikayla to the mall and give her something different then the house she has been stuck in all week since she has been sick. I packed her lunch and after her nap we headed to the mall. A nice walk, starbucks, the smell of Barnes and Noble, fun in the kids play area and a nice lunch together was what I desired.

Cue the kid who ran past Mikayla in the kids play area and side swiped her so hard her little cheek got bright and pink for the next half hour.
Baby feeling... SCREAM
Mommy feeling... how did that happen so fast? No matter how fast it was I should have used my inhuman reflexes and pulled her away when I saw that kid running.

Next... lunch. Grabbed subway so I could eat while Mikayla ate. Pushing stroller, carrying daughter who did not want to sit in stroller, diaper bag falling off shoulder and dragging highchair, which I knew having read a study was infested with bacteria, I made it to a table in the food court. I then proceeded to put down the sticky place mat on the table to which Mikayla kept ripping off and screaming to which I continued to try to stick the stupid thing down on the table.
Baby feeling... this is fun
Mommy feeling... should I care this much about bacteria?

Opening the packed lunch Mikayla started to throw food in her mouth faster than I was able to cut into little pieces prompting her to scream. She then wanted water, mommy’s water, she then pointed to the apple sauce, pointing, grunting, screaming, pointing, grunting, screaming to which I could not keep up pace and to which the points to randomness further confused me and further frustrated Mikayla.

Subway sandwich untouched, daughter covered in avocado, mommy covered in avocado, I decided lunch was over and put a disgruntled little girl into the stroller.
Baby feeling... scream
Mommy feeling... I just want to SOB and throw in the towel

Getting a hold of myself I made it to the car, Mikayla fell asleep in the next minute and I cried to my mom on the phone. Her words? You won’t know what to do most times as a mother, but you will figure out. Sigh...
We made it!

Thursday, March 17, 2011

One Year Musings

After attempting a one year photo shoot today at the park... I gave up jumping up and down and trying to make Mikayla smile and just took pictures of who she was at that moment. 

Though Mikayla has a wonderful smile and uses it often these pictures show who a part of her is as a one year old. A little girl who is finding her independence in head nods, pointing and using her language to explain what she wants. A baby emerging into a toddler who throws her food on the ground when she is done, picks the books she wants read by pushing away those she is not interested in, and who clings to her mama like I am going to disappear in a poof of smoke.

She is not a puppet who I can pose with a smile when I want. She is her own person and her personality is emerging every day! Mikayla takes care to sit slowly after standing, she has her "party tricks" of pointing to her belly and nose, clapping, lifting her arms in touch down, she says hi and duck, dog and so many more babels that are harder to make out.

Mikayla loves to dance to music, crawl around the house at lightening speed and give belly laughs when her neck is tickled. She loves hugs from mommy and daddy and loves to hold her bunny snuggles. She pretends to go to sleep by randomly laying on the ground and she covers her face with her hands and thinks we can't see her. She loves the tunnel a the mall play area and bee lines to it every time Dhrumil brings her there to play.

My baby is growing up each moment of every day and though I miss the days when she was tiny it is so much fun to discover the world through her eyes. To see it in it's simplicity that only a child can see. To appreciate the ducks swimming in the pond, the taste of a cracker and the bathtime that gives such joy to this little person who is my daughter.
 
 I can't wait to hold Mikayla's hand and watch her grow the be the person God has planned for her to be!