"Yes I know God, You only give us as much as we can handle, yes we learn through our trials, yes I will become closer to You... BUT WHY ME!? WHY NOW!? I want to be loving life, I want to be enjoying every second of it, but I am trapped under a blanket of sorrow, doubt, self contentment, fear, anxiousness..."
And yet even now I can see the work being done in my life in the midst of this hell I am living in. I am grasping onto each moment with every fiber of my being... clinging onto the small joys Nolan's smile brings, the moment of elation felt from something silly Mikayla says and the glimmer of warmth in my heart from the way Dhrumil looks at me with such love.
I am caught by surprise of the compassion I am now starting to feel for those who have battled mental illness... understanding that this is truly something uncontrollable... real... and also something that can be beat.
Now understanding how in the midst of such sorrow people cling to the One who gives them peace and rescues them from everything.
 |
| Living... |
There is a time to question... but then there is a time to accept, move on and try with all of your might to live. To know that this is only a season and to keep moving on.
The past week I have been listening to this song on a daily basis and it helps me feel as though I can beat this...
Hold on, to me as we go
As we roll down this unfamiliar road
And although this wave is stringing us along
Just know you’re not alone
Cause I’m going to make this place your home
Settle down, it'll all be clear
Don't pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found
Just know you’re not alone
Cause I’m going to make this place your home
- Phillip Phillips
No comments:
Post a Comment