Control

It's amazing to me how much is learned when one is at their lowest. I have had many valleys in my life, but never one quite like this. No matter how far I have fallen in the past... I have always had some form of control. It is as if I had been thrown into an ocean of choppy waters and though I looked to God to keep me afloat, I didn't give Him my whole weight. There was still part of me the kept myself afloat.

Dealing with this illness has forced me to throw my whole weight into God's arms and to be kept afloat by Him... and ONLY Him. What a feeling... the feeling of not having control BUT knowing that God has the control. This can be so reassuring and fill you with SUCH peace! On a daily basis I try so hard to hand over my control and trust in Him.

I have come to treasure the joy I have in life so much more on my good days and on those days when I don't think I will ever feel happiness again... I must take each moment at a time, mentally placing my hands in God's and trusting that He will continue to guide me towards His Glory!

Feeling joyful in the moment!

But the voice of truth tells me a different story

And the voice of truth says "Do not be afraid!"

And the voice of truth says "This is for my glory!"

Out of all the voices calling me

I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

- Casting Crowns