Bye Bye Blues!

Is there a megaphone somewhere? I am feeling the need right now to shout from the rooftops to all who will hear that I HAVE MADE IT! I have finally gotten through the dark tunnel of after-the-birth-baby-blues-and-getting-used-to-the-fact-that-I-have-another-child phase. In the moment it felt it like would never end and I thank God, two months later, that it has.

I believe this time around was harder for me with the baby blues. Maybe because I felt isolated and alone in this still very new to me place. The whole feeling of knowing that you have this amazing and beautiful family, but having a hard time rejoicing in it is the worst. Each day was a struggle for me to find happiness amidst the dirty diapers and toddler tantrums and to not dread the next day where I had to experience whole thing over again. I couldn't let my mind move past the very second I was living in or the overwhelming reality of my responsibilities would come crashing down. I wanted to yell at myself to embrace this change in our family, but instead I tried to show myself compassion and take each step at a time. Dhrumil was an amazing help, my ever constant rock, holding my hand and helping me in anyway possible. My parents were also extremely helpful, coming one weekend just so they could give me a break and also an afternoon for me and Dhrumil to go out together. When they visited last time my mom gave me a little box with the quote above on it. It helped me find the small moments during those hard days to help me get to the next day.

AND SO... I'm still here... I'm still me... and it is night and day how I am feeling! I am proof that you can make it... whatever dark season you may be in (baby hormone induced or not)! I have had a few such seasons so far in my life, but each time I have come out on the other side and am rejoicing that I have!

Here are a few signs that I have made it...

- I am now used to the fact that it takes a hour to get out the door and I do not get discouraged because of it.
- I am cooking again
- I am flossing my teeth and plucking my eyebrows again ;-)
- I wear makeup when I go out (most of the time)
- If both kids are sobbing in the van... I take a deep breath and keep on driving
- I GO PLACES!

There are more, but those are the big ones. It also helps that both kids are now going to bed at pretty much the same time at night!! Nolan was colic for about a month, but not anymore. Dhrumil and I have gotten our evenings back and it is divine.

I am sure tomorrow will have its own challenges filled with poop explosions, lessons in staying quiet while Mikayla chooses her own outfit, small pangs of missing work where normal sized people appreciated my talents, spit up covered clothes and discussion upon discussion upon discussion of why we only have two snacks... BUT it's ok... because it will also be filled with toothless grins, uncontrollable giggles, cooing and looks of love only children can give you. And you know what? I am excited for ALL of it!