Setbacks

The higher you climb... the farther you may fall.

So why do we climb? What makes us keep going? After being knocked down so many times why don't we just give up!?

Is it a sense of survival? Are we fools to trust that we may, one day, make it to the top? And what is at the top when we get there? Will it be worth it? Or will it just be the beginning of another mountain that needs to be climbed?

At this moment in time my mountain is the cursed postpartum depression. Yes today it is cursed to me... today I hate the illness and it is hard to see the blessings that are shinning beneath the darkness.

Enduring the setbacks of depression is insanely hard because of the Catch-22. While feeling an overwhelming sense of hopelessness I am also frustrated beyond anything that I am once again in this situation which leads to annoyance of myself which leads to feeling worse... it's like being stuck in a web with no way out.

Dare I kick my feet hard enough to loosen the web of depression so I can again climb the mountain? Is it worth it!?

At least this time I know the way up...