Balancing the littles! |
Today I stand on the balance beam once again feeling confident and able some days, wobbly and weak others, ready to walk forward in a somewhat steady fashion. Trying to remember the feel of staying upright and yet walking with a whole new understanding of myself and learning how that feels.
Here is a very small glimpse into my balancing struggles... the middle point is where I'd love to be all the time.
On exercising:
- I want to be a blob and eat chocolate
- I want to run for ME! Because it makes ME feel good!
- I want to exercise and watch my food because that is what I have to do because if I don't I will not have a good body shape and look at all those others and how they look! I need to COUNT every calorie and exercise EVERY DAY and if I don't THAT IS BAD!
- I don't want to be a mom today! I just want to let them run a muck and watch tv!
- Lets read together, play together, go outside, have quiet time, watch a few shows... just be
- PROJECTS, CRAFTS, LEARNING, FIELD TRIPS, NON STOP TIME TOGETHER
- I feel so down, why do I still feel depressed some days!? I don't want to do anything! And I am so anxious I can't even breath... why am I STILL dealing with days like this!?
- Hey... I still deal with being sick sometimes... and it's OK... I love you ElisaBeth... it's here but you don't have to dwell in it... one step at a time
- IM OK IM OK IM OK IM OK IM OK IM OK IM OK NO IM NOT NO IM NOT NO IM NOT
Bring it on balance beam! I know I am not going to be right on the mark every day and I know that tumbles will still come but I am thankful for this journey. I am thankful that I am able to get back up on the beam. I am thankful that I don't have to balance alone... God is with me and all I need to do is look to Him and my soul will be steadied and empowered to keep on going.
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