I’ve made it! Today I am officially 9 months pregnant and I can honestly say I am ready for the baby to come. I think God planned the 9/10 months to give women time to come to terms with this HUGE change. Yes the baby was “planned” but when the idea became a reality I had a hard time swallowing it. Maybe it was because I was feeling so sick or maybe it was because I hadn’t fully processed what the reality of having a baby would mean. It took me months to understand who I was in this whole process and come to grips with how I fit into the world now that I was going to have a baby. I had to go through all of those thoughts to get where I am today… completely at peace and ready for this new step. Of course if I stopped to think the responsibility of forever and what that means I’d not be as calm, but I’m not thinking about that. I have become focused and prepared and ready for the baby. I am focusing on NOW. I feel as though I have one foot in motherhood, the other in a place I have known for the past 28 years… and I’m ok with that!Along with the peace about becoming a mother has also come a peace of giving birth. I never fully had thoughts of horror of what labor and delivery would be like, but I was nervous even fearful of the unknown. I am now confident and ready to try to achieve my goal of a natural unmedicated birth. I no longer fear the “pain” and want to see what my body can do. God created me with one of the purposes of having children… He wouldn’t leave me without the ability to do so. I am also working really hard on being open to the fact that if things don’t go as planned I will be ok with it.
This is such a wonderful place to be… at peace and confident. I know there will be many things with the baby where I will not be as confident, but after going through this process I know for a fact that I will eventually get to a place of peace once again.
*side note* I wrote this blog the other day at work and thought I had emailed it to myself. Well the pregnancy mind got in the way and who knows where I emailed it because I can’t find it anywhere… guess someone is reading my musings, because the email never came back to me. Needless to say I attempted to write it again, but it’s not the same. I know you really wanted to know all of that. :)
Me and Peter Rabbit in the baby's nursery
1 comment:
Hey girl!
I am so excited to hear the news when she is born! Giving birth was one of the most beautiful things I have ever experienced. Yes it hurt but the satifaction of what you just did was incredible! I loved every moment and cannot wait to experience it again! (And I pray that I am able to!) The biggest piece of advice that I got (and I thought it was silly at the time) was to not get scared...I thought...what...not get scared...what do you mean. I didn't fully understand it until I was in labor but my friend explained to me that the biggest problem women have is that they get scared and then it takes a lot longer for the body to do it's job. So she told me to just try and do everything to relax...so I just kept telling myself to not be scared and just relax...everything is going to be fine...this is all a part of childbirth...it really doesn't hurt that much...these are just really bad cramps...lots of women do this...every contraction is just one step closer to this baby being born...let your cervix dialate..well..you get the picture :) Hope that wasn't too much info! If you ever have any questions feel free to contact me :) Oh...and if your hospital has a birthing ball I would highly recommend it...it was really nice to just kind of bounce through your contractions...kindof a distraction from it all :) Hoping and praying all goes well!
Love
Ali
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