Ducky!

To say that Mikayla loves birds would be an understatement 

And I’m afraid I don’t know which bird she likes the most since she calls them all “DUCKY”!!!!

 

First close bird encounter at 5 months old

The first bird Mikayla was introduced to was a rubber duck in her bath. This was the first toy that she smiled at and the first animal name she said.  Her first birthday party was duck themed as this was the logical choice to the one true love she had at the moment. We thought this would fade, but here we are 5 months later and duckies are still all the rage!

 

Ducky has expanded from the bathtub to all the birds on the earth. While on a walk Mikayla yells DUCKY and points to a bird that is flying by. While driving Mikayla yells ducky and I can only conclude that she must have seen a bird out of window. Watching the geese swim in the pond … ducky! While tweeting like a bird (yes I do this)… ducky! Looking at the parrots in the pet store… ducky.

 

Ducky from tante tina

She has books with ducks, she loves songs about ducks. She loves to watch UP with the bird Kevin who she calls ducky. I now hear ducky multiple times in a day and am never quite sure which one she is referring to.

 

And now… a new duck has joined in the form of a flying rat… the famous NYC pigeons. Mikayla had the time of her life this past weekend chasing pigeons around a park at the base of the Brooklyn Bridge.

 

I wonder if she would pet one if she could?

This little girl shows no fear in the face of Duckies!

 

Now my only hope is that she will outgrow this phase before I hear the words “mommy I want a ducky for Christmas”

Her best bath friends

Her Easter friend

Taking her duck on a walk

Her new found DUCKY friends

She was determined to catch them

Where did all of my friends go?

 

 

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A Glimpse

Sunday was a tough day. Mikayla woke up screaming at 5am and the rest of the day was filled with a little girl who was in pain from all of her teeth coming in. Needless to say she was not the happiest and Dhrumil and I tried to make the most of the day and just go with it.

 

By the time Mikayla woke up screaming from her short nap that afternoon the day felt never ending. I suggested we go to Waveny (a big beautiful park in our town) and without hesitation Dhrumil loaded the baby and wagon into the car while I grabbed the dog and a picnic blanket.

 

It was at Waveny where we saw Mikayla’s first smiles of the day while Dhrumil pulled her in the wagon across the great expanse of green grass. I had to find the perfect tree to lay under and Willoughby was in his glory running back and forth between all of us.

 

Lazily laying on a blanket reading a book was something I used to do all the time before I was a mother… times have changed. I was ready to take back one of the greatest pleasures, but as I stared up at the tree above I couldn’t help but turn to the sounds of giggling. A sweet high belly laugh came out of Mikayla who had just fallen in the soft grass followed by Dhrumil’s laughter which never fails to make me smile. I pushed my book aside and watched as Mikayla attempted to run around the field chasing the dog as Dhrumil chased both of them. It was then that I gasped… this was my family. MINE! They are beautiful and they are part of me and I of them. All of the exhaustion of the day lifted in that moment and I felt truly blessed and in awe of the gift I was entrusted with.

 

This short poem came from the feelings of that moment:

 

A day of crying a day of pain

A day where it all seems the same

 

But then a moment which stops all time

A stillness wanders into my mind

 

A beautiful image appears to me

And I know that for all of eternity

 

I have been blessed beyond all measure

This gift from God regards all splendor

 

My life has somehow become complete

And purpose finally will I meet

 

This blessing so pure and divine

Can only come from one so fine

 

I thank the Lord for all He’s done

A glimpse of Heaven as bright as the sun

Life is Fleeting

Four generations

I have heard this term in books. Today I looked up fleeting to see what it really means… “Passing or fading quickly” and in the Thesaurus… “brief, momentary, transitory and evanescent.” These definitions bring tears to my eyes and a picture in my mind.

 

Last week Mikayla and I flew to visit my parents in Indiana one last time before they move to NYC (More on that trip to come) While there it was very important for me to go and visit my Yoder Grandparents in Ohio. They have been having a difficult time lately… afflicted by things that come with age. My Grandpa can hardly see and is in a wheelchair because he fell. My grandma succumbing to dementia, though she can still remember us. They have both been moved to separate rooms on the assisted living wing of the wonderful home they are living in. More like a “college for the old” than a facility for the weary.

 

When I went into my Grandma’s room I was shocked by how frail and little she looked… same with my grandpa. Grandma was slightly confused, but was excited to see me. When they saw Mikayla joy lit their faces and I was hit with the thought of this new life was giving large smiles to the old life passing through. While sitting in the lobby, watching Mikayla play and toddle back and forth between my parents and grandparents, I had a new appreciation for life and the moments that are meant to be cherished.

 

Grandma talking to Mikayla about her shoes

We happened to be in the lobby during the June birthday celebration. A man on an accordion and one on the drums played and sang to their hearts content. I enjoyed looking around and watching the elders sing along. Mikayla was in her glory… dancing with my mom, walking from one end to the other, being the center of attention. Amidst the joy and naivety of a  child who has yet been blemished my life’s hardships it wasn’t hard to miss the looks on those around me. My parents showed love of their grandchild, but also exhaustion and a bit of sadness that is brought by the stresses of having older parents. My Grandpa showed concern through his eyes for the love of his life whose mind is leaving it’s body. And my Grandma? She sat quietly, a peaceful but faraway look in her eyes. I wondered where she was… perhaps thoughts of her younger days had come upon her and she had been transported to a place where she was witty, young and beautiful again.

 

Saying goodbye was the hardest. After helping my Grandma into her chair and covering her with a blanket I bent to hug her and whisper to her what I know I wanted her to hear while she still remembered who I was… “You have been and are the best Grandma, thank you.” As tears filled both of our eyes we clung to each other and as I looked deeply into her cloudy blue eyes  I remembered a time not too long ago where her eyes were clear and she was teaching me to cook and sew.

 

As I left their room, my dad’s comforting arm around my shoulders, immense sadness filling my heart, I knew one thing for sure. Life is fleeting. My grandparents, like the rest of us, are just passing through. This life is but a brief stop on the way to all of the Glory and Splendor waiting for us in Heaven. That thought gave me comfort. 

Special family

Giving five to Grandpa

 

An Off Day

Do you ever have a day that is just a bit off? A day where there seems to be something you are probably forgetting but you push it off as something you dreamt and not something you were supposed to remember? Yesterday was that day for not only myself, but also Dhrumil. We were already reeling from getting back into the daily grind after vacation and were preoccupied with trying to catch up.

 

That morning I had forgotten to pack Mikayla’s lunch and in my rush I threw items into a bag and forgot the spoon… ok not so bad. Work went as usual, Dhrumil dropped Mikayla off as usual and all was right in the world.

 

Then the phone call came.

 

To preface the phone call… I was planning on leaving work 20 minutes early to pick up Mikayla since Dhrumil had a meeting.

 

Ok back to the phone call.

 

It was Dhrumil with a bit of panic in his voice… “how are you going to pick up Mikayla?” What a silly question! Um drive and get her… higher pitched this time “you don’t have the car seat and my big meeting is in 10 minutes” BLANK “hello?” BLANK “what should we do?” BLANK. HOW in the world did both of us forget about the car seat? My mind went over the possibilities… I could walk home… that would take me a few hours. I could sit at the church and wait until Dhrumil was done with his meeting… Mikayla would have a meltdown from exhaustion. BLANK. Wish we could fly home.

 

“What should we do!?” Dhrumil’s voice calm, but persistent. Sigh. It was raining out… the traffic was going to be bad… I was, shall we say, not thrilled? Maybe we could also say I was… frustrated since we were having Mikayla stay in day care an extra hour so I woudn’t have to leave work EARLY AND OH MY GOSH SHE IS IN DAYCARE JUST SO I CAN DRIVE AROUND FOR AN HOUR AND I STILL HAVE TO LEAVE WORK EARLY! Ok guess I was past the point of no return. Well one thing was for sure, I didn’t want Dhrumil to leave his important meeting. So I drove.

 

Slow cars… why do cars always drive slow when I am trying to GO PLACES!? Three highways later, 25 minutes later, a burst of tears when I saw Dhrumil later, I was in the car with the car seat heading back down to pick up Mikayla. I got there right at 1pm, she smiled, laughed, said “Momeeeee” in her sweet sweet way and all was right in the world.

 

Total time spent in the car? One hour and a half

 

I can laugh it off now… and hopefully next time something happens like this I can laugh it off in the moment and just breath because a giggly, smiley little girl will be there at the end with a wet kiss.

 

 

 

 

 

The Pool and the Little Girl

Memorial day was a long day of outside fun for Mikayla Rose. So much fun that by the time our cook out started she was done for the day. After eating with Mikayla yelling, ok screaming, through most of it I decided it wouldn't hurt to let her wade around in the pool. I turned my eyes for a SECOND and the next thing I know Mikayla is sitting in the pool with her pretty dress floating up like a balloon.  At this point all I could do was laugh and yell to my friend to start taking pictures. Mikayla's dress was so soaked that I decided the best course of action was to remove it. After allowing her to take one more walk around the pool it was into daddy's arms and off to bed almost an hour early. And boy did she sleep solidly that night!

Um this feels weird with my dress

This needs to come off

                                  

I liked my dress in the water!!!

Ok I guess this is ok

Loves of the Week

These past few days Mikayla must be on a break from teething because she has been in the happiest of moods. :) Or, as my mom likes to remind me, she is a person and has moods just like us. Whatever it is... having a happy girl makes for a happy mommy which makes for a happy daddy and then equals a happy family! Of course we still love an unhappy little girl, but life is easier when she is really loving life.

It is hard to believe Mikayla is 14 months old and I am continuously reminded of how fast time really does fly. Some days I feel like I have a little girlfriend to hang out with, someone who you can sit with at the mall food court sharing Chinese noodles and not feel weird, cause you are really not alone! Other days I feel like I have the grumpiest toddler who likes to scream in public and when overtired continuously yells "BUBBLES" and when they don't magically appear within seconds, melts into a pool of tears.

Weeks like these... when everything Mikayla does is absolutely adorable, when I have an unending sense of energy, when she keeps me laughing all day from something she does or says, when she leans over to hug me while pushing her in the grocery cart, when she toddles over to me with a proud grin and yells "MUMEEE" or when she shares my ice cream so I don't feel like I'm eating it all alone... it helps me continue on in this thing called parenthood and gives me the confidence I need to face another week. It helps me know I can do this and maybe I am doing a few things right after all.

A few of Mikayla's loves of the week. And believe me... they change or evolve EVERY week! :) One I left out is BUBBLES. This is Mikayla's favorite word right now and she loves watching me blow bubbles. She woke up the other morning and as if she remembered her world of bubbles yelled it with a big smile on her face... to which I laughed... to which she acted offended as if I should also understand the sun rises and sets for bubbles.

Rides in the wagon with her friends

Throwing her friends out of the wagon

And the cow is gone

Nemo Fish or "ishhhhh"

Enamored with her bathing suit

Doing her hair (do you see the black hair tie)

Putting bows in her hair

Sitting with friends (they had to be in that order!)

Reading to friends

Her FAVORITE book we read at least 4 times a day

Reading in her new lawn chair

She LOVES this chair

Being a mom

Mikayla's Bad Day

Today is one of those days where I ask myself... am I really cut out for this? To which myself replies... well you have been thrown into the pool so you better swim because drowning is NOT an option.

To what am I referring to in this conversation with myself you ask?

Being a mother.

Today I felt having a newborn was easier, that even though I was clueless at the beginning I somehow figured it out, but today? This moment? I have NO clue what to do. Hard feeling to deal with... the overwhelming sense of not knowing what to do and the thought of “am I doing this right” looming over you like a big huge thunder cloud ready to burst.

And burst it did.

Mikayla being sick so much has really taken a toll on all of us. First my poor baby is so uncomfortable and in pain and I hate that. On top of that throw in 3 months of almost non stop sickness, me catching almost everything Mikayla has had, exhaustion and stress of missing work because we have no back up for daycare. It finally all caught up with me in the latest sickness of double ear infection combined with Mikayla’s new found independence in pointing to things.

Today being my day off I thought I would take Mikayla to the mall and give her something different then the house she has been stuck in all week since she has been sick. I packed her lunch and after her nap we headed to the mall. A nice walk, starbucks, the smell of Barnes and Noble, fun in the kids play area and a nice lunch together was what I desired.

Cue the kid who ran past Mikayla in the kids play area and side swiped her so hard her little cheek got bright and pink for the next half hour.
Baby feeling... SCREAM
Mommy feeling... how did that happen so fast? No matter how fast it was I should have used my inhuman reflexes and pulled her away when I saw that kid running.

Next... lunch. Grabbed subway so I could eat while Mikayla ate. Pushing stroller, carrying daughter who did not want to sit in stroller, diaper bag falling off shoulder and dragging highchair, which I knew having read a study was infested with bacteria, I made it to a table in the food court. I then proceeded to put down the sticky place mat on the table to which Mikayla kept ripping off and screaming to which I continued to try to stick the stupid thing down on the table.
Baby feeling... this is fun
Mommy feeling... should I care this much about bacteria?

Opening the packed lunch Mikayla started to throw food in her mouth faster than I was able to cut into little pieces prompting her to scream. She then wanted water, mommy’s water, she then pointed to the apple sauce, pointing, grunting, screaming, pointing, grunting, screaming to which I could not keep up pace and to which the points to randomness further confused me and further frustrated Mikayla.

Subway sandwich untouched, daughter covered in avocado, mommy covered in avocado, I decided lunch was over and put a disgruntled little girl into the stroller.
Baby feeling... scream
Mommy feeling... I just want to SOB and throw in the towel

Getting a hold of myself I made it to the car, Mikayla fell asleep in the next minute and I cried to my mom on the phone. Her words? You won’t know what to do most times as a mother, but you will figure out. Sigh...

We made it!