Sadness

Some would say I can be melodramatic when it comes to, well, life. :) Sometimes I look back at things and think to myself... why did I make such a big deal about that? I laugh at my wasted thoughts and effort it took to create them. This time though I don't think I'm over thinking and over feeling.

Tomorrow is going to be one of my toughest days ever I think. I go back to work full time and leave my sweet baby for 9 hours a day. I am so blessed to have my mom to watch her for the summer, but I still have a pit in my stomach. We have been together since last June. We haven't been apart for more than 4 hours in almost a year and yet tomorrow will mark the separation that I have been dreading from the beginning.

I never knew it would be this hard to leave...

The Black Thing

Mikayla has been smiling so much this week. Her smiles illuminate all the way down to her toes and have the amazing power to stop both Dhrumil and I in our tracks. Through her smile I can see her sweet personality start to shine through and am excited to watch her develop into a little person.

Since Mikayla has come into existence Dhrumil and I have become a bit camera happy. That being said the moment she started to smile we couldn't wait to capture it on film. Well we haven't been very successful as demonstrated by exhibit A...

Moments before this was taken Mikayla was smiling and cooing... and then came out the black thing.

Yes I have named the camera... the black thing. The only conclusion I can make is that Mikayla is unsure of the black thing and not a fan. She likes to smile at people and she likes to smile at her toys (maybe she thinks they are alive) but for all she know this black thing could be some alien and she will not grant it the pleasure of her lovely smile. Again you can see exhibit B below... same thing, we were having a fun smiling time and then out came the black thing

So we have come to the conclusion that if we want a smile we have to either do the sneak attack (one of us comes in from the other room with the camera ready while the other one distracts her) OR like you will see in exhibit C we have to hold the camera high above our heads and try to have her look at our faces.

It kinda works... :)

Part of Our Life

As I was drying my hair this morning a realization came over me... we're kinda getting this "having another person in our family" thing down. Of course we have our difficult days with many more to come BUT from the stage of coming home from the hospital up until now we have grown leaps and bounds.

At first Mikayla was our life... meaning we sat in the house trying to figure out what she needed before she needed it. We would jump at every little sound and fall into bed at night not knowing how many times we would be up. Now she is part of our life... we can bring her places and feel comfortable doing it, I can take a shower and know she is napping, Dhrumil and I can have time together and know she is enjoying herself in her bouncy chair and though the whole sleeping through the night thing hasn't happened yet, we are not nearly as exhausted.

It has taken us almost three months to get here, but I'm so glad we've made it this far. I cherish those first two months though and the unknown of it all. My mom always said time flies and I now see it in how fast Mikayla is growing. I'm so excited to watch a little human grow, but I also want her to remain the little bitty baby who I held in my arms in the hospital.

Mikayla Discovers Willoughby

A Bunny Story

HIP

HOP

RIGHT

INTO

MY

HEART

Stories of Being a Mom

Two short stories to share... both of which are new experiences for me.

#1 - First Date

Dhrumil got tickets for us to see Memphis on Broadway (an AMAZING show) and the plan was to drop Mikayla off at my sister's and then head to the show and dinner. Well being that my body is different now I didn't have anything to wear and I really wanted to feel like a hot wife and not a mommy and so I found a dress that made me feel just that. As we got ready that morning to go Mikayla had a few explosive diapers and so three outfits later we were off to NYC. Before heading to the show the plan was to nurse the baby so my sister would only have to feed her once. Well it ended up that a combo of spitup and messy baby eating got all over my dress and the stuff doesn't wash out with water. So instead of the hot wife I was again the mommy and after crying for a second (my poor brother in law has seen his share of hormonal pregnant/new mommyness breakdowns that I hope he still wants kids) and trying on my sister's dresses (we USED to be the same size) I left with Dhrumil with stains on my dress and tried to make the most of it. Though I did text my sister a few times we had a great time and I know next time will be even better.

Can you se the stains?

#2 - First Shots

They say its bad, but I wasn't prepared for it being SO hard on me. There was my precious baby who hasn't felt pain laying on the Dr's table smiling at me and Dhrumil one second and the next a look of confusion and then the LOUDEST screaming I have heard her do. Her sweet little tears ran down her face as she had 3 more shots and as I was holding her hands her wailing was unbearable! When it was all over I held her in my arms and she slowly calmed down and once she was in her car seat she fell asleep and looked peaceful again. I'm glad she forgot about it so easily because once the car door was shut I started to sob and poor Dhrumil had to deal with yet another of his girls crying. :) Thankfully Mikayla has given me big smiles since and I am just waiting for the fussiness from the boosters to set in. I am not looking forward to all the other shots to come.

What a learning process this is for me! One lesson I'm not looking forward too... balancing my husband, baby and life along with working. More on that in three weeks. :(

SMILE

Two Months

Mikayla was two months old on Friday. I can't believe she has only been in our lives for such a short time... it feels like much longer. The other day I was asking Dhrumil what was the first thing he could remember us doing before I was pregnant... it took him a while. It's so hard to even think how it was before. Maybe it's because she has always been in my heart... the first child I was going to have.

Today we had our two month visit and one thing is clear right now... Mikayla is tall! She is 23 inches which is in the 75th percentile. She is exactly average though with her weight which is 11 pounds. Everything else is looking good and it is such a blessing to have a healthy baby!

Mikayla is now smiling, cooing a little, enjoying her baby gym, following her mobile with extreme intensity and concentration, and trying to imitate her crazy parents as they say "ooo" "ahhh" and so on. :) She is such a good baby and is hardly ever fussy for which we are truly blessed!

After 9 weeks it's hard to believe I could love Mikayla more, but each new day I fall deeper and deeper in love with my daughter.