I’ve made it! Today I am officially 9 months pregnant and I can honestly say I am ready for the baby to come. I think God planned the 9/10 months to give women time to come to terms with this HUGE change. Yes the baby was “planned” but when the idea became a reality I had a hard time swallowing it. Maybe it was because I was feeling so sick or maybe it was because I hadn’t fully processed what the reality of having a baby would mean. It took me months to understand who I was in this whole process and come to grips with how I fit into the world now that I was going to have a baby. I had to go through all of those thoughts to get where I am today… completely at peace and ready for this new step. Of course if I stopped to think the responsibility of forever and what that means I’d not be as calm, but I’m not thinking about that. I have become focused and prepared and ready for the baby. I am focusing on NOW. I feel as though I have one foot in motherhood, the other in a place I have known for the past 28 years… and I’m ok with that!
Along with the peace about becoming a mother has also come a peace of giving birth. I never fully had thoughts of horror of what labor and delivery would be like, but I was nervous even fearful of the unknown. I am now confident and ready to try to achieve my goal of a natural unmedicated birth. I no longer fear the “pain” and want to see what my body can do. God created me with one of the purposes of having children… He wouldn’t leave me without the ability to do so. I am also working really hard on being open to the fact that if things don’t go as planned I will be ok with it.
This is such a wonderful place to be… at peace and confident. I know there will be many things with the baby where I will not be as confident, but after going through this process I know for a fact that I will eventually get to a place of peace once again.
*side note* I wrote this blog the other day at work and thought I had emailed it to myself. Well the pregnancy mind got in the way and who knows where I emailed it because I can’t find it anywhere… guess someone is reading my musings, because the email never came back to me. Needless to say I attempted to write it again, but it’s not the same. I know you really wanted to know all of that. :)
Me and Peter Rabbit in the baby's nursery
That's my motto now... dealing with it. Yesterday I was diagnosed with PUPPS, an itchy rash that about 1 in 150 women get the last few weeks of pregnancy. It started out not too bad last week, but has escalated to all over my body... kinda feels like I have a sun rash or tiny bug bites everywhere. Unfortunately it will only go away once I deliver and so that makes me want the baby here even more. I have had my moments between oatmeal baths, ice compresses and Benadryl that I got close to losing it, but I'm sticking it out. Yes it sucks, but what can I do. I'm taking each hour at a time and just dealing. 
